Pineapple Princess

Or: Putting the "fun" in Funicello

When life hands out lemons, Italians make limoncello. When life doles out pineapples, this (half) Italian-American makes funicello because he happens to think limoncello tastes like furniture polish.

If you’re asking the question, “But Michael, what is funicello?”, please refer to the above image, which should give away the game (even in alt text).

The b…