If my efforts to get something intelligible onto the page are going nowhere, I reach for a Xanax.
Do not try this at home, kids.
I greatly admire onions, and sometimes even crave them. But I fear I may be reaching the "I love onions, but they don't love me" stage of my dotage. If I should ever have to give them up permanently, I hope the onions don't take it personally.
This makes sense when you think about peanut sauces on otherwise savoury foods.
It also reminds me of the Pete Wells’ story of PB & pickles and how the NYT did him a dirty by posting a disgusting looking photo of one, but many are surprised to find they like it.
My favourite peanut butter sandwich is made with peanut butter and thinly sliced cheddar cheese, pickles and bananas. When I am making art there is no energy for making food and vice versa. A sad state of affairs, really.
Ummm what kind of creamy peanut butter? Some have sugar some don’t… there is a plethora to choose from. I mean have you ever stood in the peanut butter aisle? Very confusing 😂
Sent here by the venerable Jamie Schler, who sung your praises pretty loudly. What a damn fine piece, Michael. Hemingway and Steinbeck were the two male writers that got me into food writing, and I hope to do them proud to this very day. Hemingway's "The Killers" in the Nick Adams stories stays with me to this day; it's all about the chicken croquettes at diners that did it for me. Bravo! - Seth ✦
Thank you very, very much, Mr. Diamond! I have never read The Killers but I have had chicken croquettes. I need to rectify the former and make more of the latter.
I have always been fascinated by the common plate that everyman enjoys, and I hunt those down. Sure, I’m up for the occasional ornate plate served under glass, but I’m about what most of us can enjoy every single day — especially past culinary hits from days of yore.
Again, it’s damn refreshing to find a fellow male food writer, who has a superb voice that carries one’s attention to the every end. Looking forward to reading your other pieces, Michael.
A pleasure to connect here — and a job well done! Cheers. - Seth ✦
The farther I get from my days in culinary school, the more I appreciate those common plates. Sometimes it's fun to cook like a showoff, but it's much more satisfying to simply serve and nourish.
No kidding! Where did you train, Michael? I personally am a Le Cordon Bleu guy, from back when we had a Boston branch.
I'm so with you; my days of elaborate showboating that some expected of me upon my mid-life graduation were thankfully brief. For better or for worse, with insane inflation apparently not going anywhere, I have neither the patience nor the funds to dine out for some things that I can often do a better job DIY at home. That's the blessing and curse of being professionally trained, I guess! Maybe you find yourself in the same situation at times? LOL. - Seth ✦
It's funny - I do miss my LCB days and I think everyone got out of it what they put into it - and I went a little hardcore. There are so many tips and tricks I still learn from other chefs given what I do these days with Road Feast. In fact, down in SC the other week, I enjoyed a conversation with a BBQ pit master in a 90ºF+ smokehouse that lasted upwards of an hour; I'm always trying to learn, even if I needed to run my clothes through the washer the moment I arrived at my next destination.
Also glad to hear that I'm not the only one who gets it regarding dining out! :) - Seth ✦
A few comments here about peanut butter and mayo reminded me of my mom eating those. I've had pb and umeboshi plum. Took my beau a few years to convince me to try that. Don't knock it.
I just realized I thought you were trying to convince that peanut butter and longing were the two thngs worth avoiding, which is the only way my previous comment makes sense.
My brain is usually mush after I post an essay, so please do forgive.
Dark roast black coffee usually sits in a mug next to my keyboard. My PB sandwiches are eaten with mayo and either bacon or dill pickles if a fast meal is needed to be taken on the run. I prefer my meals sitting at a table, properly set and enjoyed at leisure with a nice glass of wine.
I'll go with smoked salmon, pan fried a little bit, just to get it crispy on the edges and some chew.
Oh, and I rarely eat while creating as, though living in the south, I've never been one to eat dirt (despite knowing a few who did). Food, raw porcelain, and drink - along with those pesky chemicals like barium and strontium and such - just should not be mixed. Unless it could make a cool texture before firing.
Oh Commander! I now have a better explanation of why My Guy has such explicit and precise instructions on how to construct his sandwiches. This all makes sense now! So when I next make him a boat sandwich, I am changing his title from Captain to Commander. This is a little off-track from 'food that inspires the artist', but I am running with it. And my go-to combo when creating? Crunchy cheetos and cold gin with only a splash of tonic and a squeeze of lemon.
Cheetos and cold gin is probably the most honest answer I will get in this post's comment section. And I imagine Your Guy's "sandwiching action" is on point.
I don’t eat when I’m writing as I’m too messy and because I need to have something to look forward to. I’m a mad fiend for a sandwich but never with raw onions in them. I love a jam and bacon one. I really like a choripan (Argentinian) served with a g&t after a hard day slogging in the fields of words. Speaking of when are you emigrating to Nova Scotia? Your room awaits you.
Yeah, I never eat when writing either. Who want's a greasy keyboard?
I now feel like I wasted two weeks in Argentina by never having encountered a choripan. If you make one for me when I emigrate, I promise not to make a mess and eat it over the table like a proper little gentleman.
Six more months until the midterms. How should such sensitive beings as we two bear it? I know - let’s have a Sandwiches of the Despairing-athon! Every two weeks we each choose a sandwich of a people who are suffering under the wrath of the ‘marmalade perp’. We share our recipes and invite sane amusing friends to partake.
I’m not sure about the peanut butter and onions in a sandwich but I think I could do buttered sourdough, peanut butter, caramelised onions and chilli oil with a few pumpkin seeds on top maybe?
I don’t really have any writing snacks but I regular make a flat white to focus my mind which goes nicely with a square of dark chocolate. I rarely write in the evening but when I did edit long thought leadership pieces for work it was always with a glass of wine after the day job meetings were done.
Oh, I do like your peanut butter sandwich riff. A lot.
I never intentionally write in the evening, but what usually happens with me is I'll wake up in the morning with every intention of writing, decide my kitchen floor needs scrubbing or all of my books need to be removed from their shelves, dusted individually, and replaced more artfully than previously situated. By the time my writer-avoidance tactics have been completed, I'm ready to get started sometime in the middle of the afternoon. And then I won't get up again until I've written an entire essay. It's all very exhausting, but the cocktail waiting for me at the end tastes extra delicious.
I would never make myself a sandwich as I am not a lover of them so I have a Jacob’s Cream Cracker with a liberal spread of KerryGold butter and a medium sized slice of Irish Mature Red Cheddar. My estimation of Hemingway has only ever been mid but I must say it has lowered even more after seeing his flat and underwhelming bottom.
Once upon a time, I won a year's supply of Kerrygold cheese and butter. It was one of the best years of my life. And then a friend of mine got somehow got Kerrygold to for me to go to Cancun, so I've an Irish dairy lover for life.
Oh, and if you're disappointed by Hemingway's backside, I sense you'd be even less impressed by his frontside, if one is to read anything into his showy hypermasculinity.
Yes, Irish dairy is good because of the rain that falls everyday except for about 11 days every year. It leads to technicolor green grass and very happy cows and a durable Irish people who appreciate the benefits in the food, I mean who needs Vitamin D……….
Journalists at The (UK's) Guardian once negotiated for the right to drink wine at their desks. The newspaper is fondly known as The Grauniad for it's consistent spelling mistakes. 🤔
If my efforts to get something intelligible onto the page are going nowhere, I reach for a Xanax.
Do not try this at home, kids.
I greatly admire onions, and sometimes even crave them. But I fear I may be reaching the "I love onions, but they don't love me" stage of my dotage. If I should ever have to give them up permanently, I hope the onions don't take it personally.
“If you give up on onions, you give up on life”— Mrs. Patrick Campbell
Often misattributed to Mrs. Fiske.
Amateurs!
Getting outside does it for me. I go in the garden, or in the woods, and they tell me what to cook, which then tells me what to write. Also drugs.
I’m imagining your morning conversations with a mysterious hag who lives in an ancient Buttonball tree as I type…
Nowadays I just ask ChatGPT to do it for me.
You may now picture me throwing a heavy vase filled with dead flowers at your head.
This makes sense when you think about peanut sauces on otherwise savoury foods.
It also reminds me of the Pete Wells’ story of PB & pickles and how the NYT did him a dirty by posting a disgusting looking photo of one, but many are surprised to find they like it.
The dirty, dirty, NYTimes. Now I want to try a satay chicken sandwich.
My favourite peanut butter sandwich is made with peanut butter and thinly sliced cheddar cheese, pickles and bananas. When I am making art there is no energy for making food and vice versa. A sad state of affairs, really.
I happen to think that’s absolutely the correct state of affairs, Jane. You want as few distractions as possible when making art.
Also: Cheese is an intriguing addition!!
Can't say I'm not curious.
Creamy-curious or crunchy-curious?
I prefer my curiosity stays creamy.
So much better for one's skin.
I love this! I also love raw onions on all sandwiches and in my "martinis." I'm a Gibson gal. Thanks for sharing this. I'm going to make this!
I'm a secret Gibson guy myself.
For Pride Month, I make an extra-special one: The Debbie Gibson https://spatchcock.substack.com/p/the-debbie-gibson
Incredible! Electric Youth!
I was far too busy listening to The Velvet Underground, Glenn Miller, and The Smiths at the time to recognize her genius.
I somehow managed to work The Smiths and Morrissey in between the Debbie and Tiffany tracks. Go figure!
Your ability to musically multitask was far greater than mine.
Ummm what kind of creamy peanut butter? Some have sugar some don’t… there is a plethora to choose from. I mean have you ever stood in the peanut butter aisle? Very confusing 😂
Very true!
Since Papa was unclear about his brand loyalty, I think the creamy peanut butter to use is the one you like best.
Ahhh ok 👌 ❤️
Sent here by the venerable Jamie Schler, who sung your praises pretty loudly. What a damn fine piece, Michael. Hemingway and Steinbeck were the two male writers that got me into food writing, and I hope to do them proud to this very day. Hemingway's "The Killers" in the Nick Adams stories stays with me to this day; it's all about the chicken croquettes at diners that did it for me. Bravo! - Seth ✦
Thanks, Seth Food Biker!
Thank you very, very much, Mr. Diamond! I have never read The Killers but I have had chicken croquettes. I need to rectify the former and make more of the latter.
And that Jamie’s alright in my book.
Oh, gosh - Please call me Seth. Or “Food Biker.” Or pretty much whatever you like. No need for formalities; any friend of Jamie is a friend of mine.
Here’s Hemingway’s aforementioned short story that you’ll polish off right here before you can sip your beverage of choice:
https://www.sfponline.org/Uploads/372/The%20Killers.pdf
I have always been fascinated by the common plate that everyman enjoys, and I hunt those down. Sure, I’m up for the occasional ornate plate served under glass, but I’m about what most of us can enjoy every single day — especially past culinary hits from days of yore.
Again, it’s damn refreshing to find a fellow male food writer, who has a superb voice that carries one’s attention to the every end. Looking forward to reading your other pieces, Michael.
A pleasure to connect here — and a job well done! Cheers. - Seth ✦
The farther I get from my days in culinary school, the more I appreciate those common plates. Sometimes it's fun to cook like a showoff, but it's much more satisfying to simply serve and nourish.
Happy to connect, too.
No kidding! Where did you train, Michael? I personally am a Le Cordon Bleu guy, from back when we had a Boston branch.
I'm so with you; my days of elaborate showboating that some expected of me upon my mid-life graduation were thankfully brief. For better or for worse, with insane inflation apparently not going anywhere, I have neither the patience nor the funds to dine out for some things that I can often do a better job DIY at home. That's the blessing and curse of being professionally trained, I guess! Maybe you find yourself in the same situation at times? LOL. - Seth ✦
I was in the last class of the California Culinary Academy here in San Francisco before it turned into a diploma mill. #RIP
I learned more on the job than I did at that school, but I had an absolutely marvelous time.
And I frequently find dining in restaurants more or less a busman's holiday.
It's funny - I do miss my LCB days and I think everyone got out of it what they put into it - and I went a little hardcore. There are so many tips and tricks I still learn from other chefs given what I do these days with Road Feast. In fact, down in SC the other week, I enjoyed a conversation with a BBQ pit master in a 90ºF+ smokehouse that lasted upwards of an hour; I'm always trying to learn, even if I needed to run my clothes through the washer the moment I arrived at my next destination.
Also glad to hear that I'm not the only one who gets it regarding dining out! :) - Seth ✦
A few comments here about peanut butter and mayo reminded me of my mom eating those. I've had pb and umeboshi plum. Took my beau a few years to convince me to try that. Don't knock it.
There are very few things I will knock before trying. Like cousin marriage and country dancing.
We're trying to convince those here in the south that those are both worth avoiding.
In the 18th century, the Russian army treated nostalgia as a severe illness, punishable by live burial. Just saying.
I just realized I thought you were trying to convince that peanut butter and longing were the two thngs worth avoiding, which is the only way my previous comment makes sense.
My brain is usually mush after I post an essay, so please do forgive.
Great post. Thanks
Your economy of words echoes Hemingway himself.
In all seriousness though, thank you, PK.
Dark roast black coffee usually sits in a mug next to my keyboard. My PB sandwiches are eaten with mayo and either bacon or dill pickles if a fast meal is needed to be taken on the run. I prefer my meals sitting at a table, properly set and enjoyed at leisure with a nice glass of wine.
I'd forgotten about bacon and peanut butter, because I don't eat meat anymore but that brings back some memories, and maybe a little longing.
Bacon is made of longing, Duffey.
I'll go with smoked salmon, pan fried a little bit, just to get it crispy on the edges and some chew.
Oh, and I rarely eat while creating as, though living in the south, I've never been one to eat dirt (despite knowing a few who did). Food, raw porcelain, and drink - along with those pesky chemicals like barium and strontium and such - just should not be mixed. Unless it could make a cool texture before firing.
Thank you for expanding my savory peanut butter sandwich horizons with this comment.
Oh Commander! I now have a better explanation of why My Guy has such explicit and precise instructions on how to construct his sandwiches. This all makes sense now! So when I next make him a boat sandwich, I am changing his title from Captain to Commander. This is a little off-track from 'food that inspires the artist', but I am running with it. And my go-to combo when creating? Crunchy cheetos and cold gin with only a splash of tonic and a squeeze of lemon.
Cheetos and cold gin is probably the most honest answer I will get in this post's comment section. And I imagine Your Guy's "sandwiching action" is on point.
I don’t eat when I’m writing as I’m too messy and because I need to have something to look forward to. I’m a mad fiend for a sandwich but never with raw onions in them. I love a jam and bacon one. I really like a choripan (Argentinian) served with a g&t after a hard day slogging in the fields of words. Speaking of when are you emigrating to Nova Scotia? Your room awaits you.
Yeah, I never eat when writing either. Who want's a greasy keyboard?
I now feel like I wasted two weeks in Argentina by never having encountered a choripan. If you make one for me when I emigrate, I promise not to make a mess and eat it over the table like a proper little gentleman.
Six more months until the midterms. How should such sensitive beings as we two bear it? I know - let’s have a Sandwiches of the Despairing-athon! Every two weeks we each choose a sandwich of a people who are suffering under the wrath of the ‘marmalade perp’. We share our recipes and invite sane amusing friends to partake.
I’m all for it, Morrison.
Fascinating!
I’m not sure about the peanut butter and onions in a sandwich but I think I could do buttered sourdough, peanut butter, caramelised onions and chilli oil with a few pumpkin seeds on top maybe?
I don’t really have any writing snacks but I regular make a flat white to focus my mind which goes nicely with a square of dark chocolate. I rarely write in the evening but when I did edit long thought leadership pieces for work it was always with a glass of wine after the day job meetings were done.
Oh, I do like your peanut butter sandwich riff. A lot.
I never intentionally write in the evening, but what usually happens with me is I'll wake up in the morning with every intention of writing, decide my kitchen floor needs scrubbing or all of my books need to be removed from their shelves, dusted individually, and replaced more artfully than previously situated. By the time my writer-avoidance tactics have been completed, I'm ready to get started sometime in the middle of the afternoon. And then I won't get up again until I've written an entire essay. It's all very exhausting, but the cocktail waiting for me at the end tastes extra delicious.
I would never make myself a sandwich as I am not a lover of them so I have a Jacob’s Cream Cracker with a liberal spread of KerryGold butter and a medium sized slice of Irish Mature Red Cheddar. My estimation of Hemingway has only ever been mid but I must say it has lowered even more after seeing his flat and underwhelming bottom.
Once upon a time, I won a year's supply of Kerrygold cheese and butter. It was one of the best years of my life. And then a friend of mine got somehow got Kerrygold to for me to go to Cancun, so I've an Irish dairy lover for life.
Oh, and if you're disappointed by Hemingway's backside, I sense you'd be even less impressed by his frontside, if one is to read anything into his showy hypermasculinity.
Yes, Irish dairy is good because of the rain that falls everyday except for about 11 days every year. It leads to technicolor green grass and very happy cows and a durable Irish people who appreciate the benefits in the food, I mean who needs Vitamin D……….
They don't call Ireland "The Tourmaline Isle" for nothin'!
Agree, that's one of the least impressive dump trucks I've seen! I do love a man that loves cats though. Maybe it cancels out.
"[D]ump trucks."
Journalists at The (UK's) Guardian once negotiated for the right to drink wine at their desks. The newspaper is fondly known as The Grauniad for it's consistent spelling mistakes. 🤔
Now all I want to do is work at The Grauniad.