There is an Italian deli up the road from my hubby's flat that has a handwritten sign proclaiming HAM ON THE BONE - only available early morning on Saturdays. He has lived here for over 20 years and for the first time ever he bought a couple of slices yesterday. He kept banging on about how amazing the little taster he had was, and it's on the menu for us tonight with a baguette and some fancy cheese. BUT I WANT TO MAKE A MARTINI WITH IT...
We do indeed domicile separately and it is indeed heaven. Only see each other 3 weekends out of 4. Taxi drivers in particular are tickled by this arrangement. Beef martini it shall be, we are Les Roast Beefs after all...
OMG, your piece brings back such fond memories of the time my grandmother served her pre-Easter dinner martinis, per tradition, and I (eight years old) was like, "These are delicious, Grandma. What'd you put in them?" And she replied, "hasenpfeffer."
Oh yeah.. Gonna hit up some friends to find out who's holding that needed equipment. I have been taking care of a 6 and 2yr old since Friday midday, with nary a cocktail in sight. I can't begin to decide which beverage I need tomorrow afternoon when home. But I believe Vodka will be the base. Thanks Michael! ❤️
I'd be trying one - if I had the proper equipment, and could walk - now. I've worked as a carpenter since Tuesday while simultaneously testing a new foot and boy do I want something like that. But not the ham. No. Never ham. I'll take the dirty followed by dessert. Now to hop and see if I have anything to substitute.
The ham drink is shudderingly funny. How does that Easter ham seem to exude Weird Barbie plastic flavor? It's why I haven't eaten ham in over five decades.
The foot could be more bionic but I'll be spinning around like Lindsay Wagner throwing a bad guy with that foot (cars are supposed to drive on the street!) and my bionic shoulder - except hers worked so much better, at least during the show.
I saw Lindsay Wagner once in a vegetarian restaurant in L.A. in the late 80s. My friend and I both found ourselves involuntary making "bionic" sounds each time she reached for her glass of water or a sprouted wheat bread roll.
I am already suffering from some digestive issue and then I read this! Ugh. I do agree that limoncello tastes like Pledge. Or how I imagine pledge to taste. This morning really early I had to drive my fella to the hospital to have his cataract surgery of yesterday checked. We live about 40 minutes away. Being a Saturday it was very quiet and the hospital was in sight when the car made a terrifying noise and became hard to steer. Luckily there was a spot to pull over. One of our rear wheels was no longer attached. Pot holes. I waited for CAA while himself went to his appointment. Please recommend the proper drink.
We're built on mush. Since the city flooded sinkholes form even more often. A water main broke a few weeks back (also common) and the news showed footage of a street like a river, a car floating down it then disappearing underground. There's a reason we drink here, and Michael's drink courses fit in just fine (except that ham; for me; just sayin').
I think I prefer just knowing how much you savored it. Once.
If I could figure out how to do it, I'd send the video a friend posted of the large gator lazily paddling the bayou about eight blocks away. This is close to the center of the city. He looked to be about 8-10 feet. I haven't gone looking to see if he's still up there, or closer. At least the alligators are usually visible; those damn snapping turtles though!
Neat! I'm trying making the dirty martini now, although our olives are all either stuffed with jalapenos or anchovies. I went jalapeno, will see how it goes.
I went with one olive per two ounces, and it was good! As far as bite, the jalapeno underperformed. If I were going for bite, I'd add a couple jalapeno slices with seeds next time.
Fond memories!
Maybe we should get the band back together.
Your Substacks bring such joy for the fine writing and wit as dry as a Martini I barely require a cocktail.
Bless for your that, Julia. I often require a cocktail after writing them. Ham or no ham.
There is an Italian deli up the road from my hubby's flat that has a handwritten sign proclaiming HAM ON THE BONE - only available early morning on Saturdays. He has lived here for over 20 years and for the first time ever he bought a couple of slices yesterday. He kept banging on about how amazing the little taster he had was, and it's on the menu for us tonight with a baguette and some fancy cheese. BUT I WANT TO MAKE A MARTINI WITH IT...
Do you and your hubby domicile separately? That sounds like my idea of relationship heaven.
If the ham doesn't work out for you, would it border on patriotic sacrilege to try it with roast beef?
We do indeed domicile separately and it is indeed heaven. Only see each other 3 weekends out of 4. Taxi drivers in particular are tickled by this arrangement. Beef martini it shall be, we are Les Roast Beefs after all...
My thoughts exactly. Now if you could find a way to rim the martini glass with Yorkshire pudding, you'll have a major hit on your hands.
My ex and I lived next door to each other for four years and we were both extremely happy with that arrangement.
Oh yum, yum!!! Living next door to a paramour is 100% brilliant.
It was just like Meet Me in St Louis, but set in The Castro.
https://youtu.be/MwFfLDd8jNM?si=3BXmHyVsFE--QG0S
You made many someones laugh, thank you we needed this.
Thank you, Brigit! Now if only I could find a way to make it pay the bills.
OMG, your piece brings back such fond memories of the time my grandmother served her pre-Easter dinner martinis, per tradition, and I (eight years old) was like, "These are delicious, Grandma. What'd you put in them?" And she replied, "hasenpfeffer."
Your grandmother murdered Bugs Bunny.
Oh yeah.. Gonna hit up some friends to find out who's holding that needed equipment. I have been taking care of a 6 and 2yr old since Friday midday, with nary a cocktail in sight. I can't begin to decide which beverage I need tomorrow afternoon when home. But I believe Vodka will be the base. Thanks Michael! ❤️
You really do sound like you could use a drink. The great thing about infusing vodka is that the world's your oysters, so to speak.
Just maybe don't try it with actual oysters. But, if you do, please let me know how it went.
Anyone for seconds? I cannot stop laughing. Oh very good Michael! Thank you.
I've been having such trouble concentrating this past week. I needed something non-serious to focus on for a bit.
And I'm just glad I made someone laugh.
I'd be trying one - if I had the proper equipment, and could walk - now. I've worked as a carpenter since Tuesday while simultaneously testing a new foot and boy do I want something like that. But not the ham. No. Never ham. I'll take the dirty followed by dessert. Now to hop and see if I have anything to substitute.
I am imagining you with a bionic foot at the moment.
The ham was (I hope obviously) for fun. But I did make it and it did taste alarmingly like Easter ham.
Once was definitely enough, however.
The ham drink is shudderingly funny. How does that Easter ham seem to exude Weird Barbie plastic flavor? It's why I haven't eaten ham in over five decades.
The foot could be more bionic but I'll be spinning around like Lindsay Wagner throwing a bad guy with that foot (cars are supposed to drive on the street!) and my bionic shoulder - except hers worked so much better, at least during the show.
I saw Lindsay Wagner once in a vegetarian restaurant in L.A. in the late 80s. My friend and I both found ourselves involuntary making "bionic" sounds each time she reached for her glass of water or a sprouted wheat bread roll.
Hahahahaha! I love that. Could she hear you? Maybe I need to incorporate a tiny sound device into my foot.
It was all very sotto voce.
Never, ever ham!
So I'm just going to assume you're more of an Easter lamb drinker then.
I am already suffering from some digestive issue and then I read this! Ugh. I do agree that limoncello tastes like Pledge. Or how I imagine pledge to taste. This morning really early I had to drive my fella to the hospital to have his cataract surgery of yesterday checked. We live about 40 minutes away. Being a Saturday it was very quiet and the hospital was in sight when the car made a terrifying noise and became hard to steer. Luckily there was a spot to pull over. One of our rear wheels was no longer attached. Pot holes. I waited for CAA while himself went to his appointment. Please recommend the proper drink.
In your case, I think the proper drink is whatever is closest. May you and your fella be on the mend.
Yow! You probably don't live in New Orleans yet the streets sound as bad.
I live in Canada where all winter long the roads freeze and thaw. It’s not spring yet but the streets are a holey mess !
We're built on mush. Since the city flooded sinkholes form even more often. A water main broke a few weeks back (also common) and the news showed footage of a street like a river, a car floating down it then disappearing underground. There's a reason we drink here, and Michael's drink courses fit in just fine (except that ham; for me; just sayin').
Good god, Duffey! Next thing you'll probably tell me is you've got gators in the sewers.
And one should never knock a ham-based drink until one has had a ham-based drink. Then, after having said drink, one needn't ever have one again.
I think I prefer just knowing how much you savored it. Once.
If I could figure out how to do it, I'd send the video a friend posted of the large gator lazily paddling the bayou about eight blocks away. This is close to the center of the city. He looked to be about 8-10 feet. I haven't gone looking to see if he's still up there, or closer. At least the alligators are usually visible; those damn snapping turtles though!
You have a way of making New Orleans sound like both Heaven and Hell, which makes the place all the more alluring to me.
Neat! I'm trying making the dirty martini now, although our olives are all either stuffed with jalapenos or anchovies. I went jalapeno, will see how it goes.
Jalapeño sound especially intriguing! Please let me know how it goes.
I went with one olive per two ounces, and it was good! As far as bite, the jalapeno underperformed. If I were going for bite, I'd add a couple jalapeno slices with seeds next time.
Delighted about the olive experiment, a little sad that my brain can't come up with an easy solution to the jalapeño problem.