I loved reading this as I do all of your work! I always wondered what Bauer's dinner parties were like. I spilled water on his lap :) one day when I was working at Town Hall. We still got a good review haha oops.
Loved this post and your style! I have often wondered what restaurant critics ate when they weren’t sat down at restaurants on the job. I might have ended up in his kitchen too - if only to save the birds!
I was trying very hard to be diplomatic but one would hope they would know their way around a kitchen. I have been a part of the huddle of staff out the back wondering if that one diner is a critic or not! I look forward to your stories from the front lines! At least you know how to whip up those egg whites!
Like so many things in life, it's all in the wrist. I would also like to add that restaurant review is no walk in the park, either. I've been on a few as a +1 and, on a couple of occasions, in a work capacity. I found myself hunched over a toilet in a Chinese restaurant my first time. The restaurant was blameless. It was entirely my own fault, but I suppose that's a story for another time...
So much fun to read. Are you going to send it to him?
When I interviewed critics for Will Write for Food (including Michael, whom I quoted at length), most said they didn’t cook. Narsai David said they ate “vegetarian gruel” at home to balance out the luxurious meals out.
"The Christ child's foreskin." Hahahaha. You might've guessed that that one would tickle me. And it did! As did the story surrounding it!
I admire your restraint in using a pristine Band-Aid in your photo staging. A bottle of grenadine, or some equally sanguine substance, must've been somewhere close by, and yet you resisted the urge to grab it. You are a stronger man than I, sir.
I tried wrapping a few around my fingers and then soaking them off so tht the would be round and (barely) used looking, just like the Christ Child's foreskin. I had hoped to use them for garnish like croutons. No luck. Maybe I'll nail for my next Band-Aid salad recipe this spring.
I’ve always said disasters (if handled gracefully) can actually make a party better. I once went to a pool party where a tornado struck. The power went out and we all chipped in to make the dinner in the dark. It makes for a much better story than saying everything was flawless.
I don't know...why would a restaurant critic make a dinner for people who work in restos? Would an art critic for the Chron make a painting or any other creation and show it off as if...?
To be fair, he was making dinner (or whatever one might call it) for his fellow food journalist employees, not for anyone actually working in restaurants. It was a staff only party.
I love your storytelling Michael, and I love these kinds of parties —I never leave them with unwanted calories. Vodka doesn’t count, and literally if there is gin around.
Thank you very much, Mr. Rochat! I seriously don't remember if I ate anything at all at that party, but my brain was definitely full by the end. And same here re: gin.
I loved reading this as I do all of your work! I always wondered what Bauer's dinner parties were like. I spilled water on his lap :) one day when I was working at Town Hall. We still got a good review haha oops.
I have enjoyed his company on the few occasions I've been in it both socially and professionally. His partner is the problematic one.
Loved this post and your style! I have often wondered what restaurant critics ate when they weren’t sat down at restaurants on the job. I might have ended up in his kitchen too - if only to save the birds!
Thanks very much! I've always been a bit surprised/disappointed that so many restaurant critics have zero restaurant/cooking experience.
I was trying very hard to be diplomatic but one would hope they would know their way around a kitchen. I have been a part of the huddle of staff out the back wondering if that one diner is a critic or not! I look forward to your stories from the front lines! At least you know how to whip up those egg whites!
That does not sound fun at all! And yes! Absolutely. I imagine one has to troll through some awful dinners.
Like so many things in life, it's all in the wrist. I would also like to add that restaurant review is no walk in the park, either. I've been on a few as a +1 and, on a couple of occasions, in a work capacity. I found myself hunched over a toilet in a Chinese restaurant my first time. The restaurant was blameless. It was entirely my own fault, but I suppose that's a story for another time...
That fine chicken line between succulent and sawdust.
In this case, I think the line could be seen from outer space.
So much fun to read. Are you going to send it to him?
When I interviewed critics for Will Write for Food (including Michael, whom I quoted at length), most said they didn’t cook. Narsai David said they ate “vegetarian gruel” at home to balance out the luxurious meals out.
Thanks! And, no, I hadn't planned on sending it, but wouldn't be opposed to him reading it in the least.
"The Christ child's foreskin." Hahahaha. You might've guessed that that one would tickle me. And it did! As did the story surrounding it!
I admire your restraint in using a pristine Band-Aid in your photo staging. A bottle of grenadine, or some equally sanguine substance, must've been somewhere close by, and yet you resisted the urge to grab it. You are a stronger man than I, sir.
I tried wrapping a few around my fingers and then soaking them off so tht the would be round and (barely) used looking, just like the Christ Child's foreskin. I had hoped to use them for garnish like croutons. No luck. Maybe I'll nail for my next Band-Aid salad recipe this spring.
this is so so so good. OMG.
Thanks, lady!
I believe Barolo is the traditional pairing with bandaids.
My Italian grandmother always added a dash of Barolo to her Bactine vinaigrettes.
Did he find many satisfactory restaurants in Antarctica?
Sadly, they all served nothing but frozen dinners.
I’ve always said disasters (if handled gracefully) can actually make a party better. I once went to a pool party where a tornado struck. The power went out and we all chipped in to make the dinner in the dark. It makes for a much better story than saying everything was flawless.
They definitely can be the best sort of party. This one was terrible. Fortunately, I love terrible.
It’s hard to resist a tango with trouble 😈
I don't know...why would a restaurant critic make a dinner for people who work in restos? Would an art critic for the Chron make a painting or any other creation and show it off as if...?
To be fair, he was making dinner (or whatever one might call it) for his fellow food journalist employees, not for anyone actually working in restaurants. It was a staff only party.
God forbid any of them wrote a critique of the meal!
Had any of them done so, they'd have gained my eternal admiration.
I love your storytelling Michael, and I love these kinds of parties —I never leave them with unwanted calories. Vodka doesn’t count, and literally if there is gin around.
Thank you very much, Mr. Rochat! I seriously don't remember if I ate anything at all at that party, but my brain was definitely full by the end. And same here re: gin.
Please, call me Johnny, or I’m going to start calling you Mr. Procopio, deal?
I feel I really missed out on living in the era of being addressed by one's last name. I want to be the one who says, "Oh, do please call me Michael!"
I suppose it’s my life as a doctor and the insufferable pretension that will get the last word — if there is an obit.
This is the problem with being a lawyer: there are potential clients everywhere. Sigh.
Love this, Michael, it speaks to so many dinner party disasters, my own, and those only witnessed (there but for . . . )
My first thought was "Is Amy going to approach Bauer to start a libel case against me?"
Yikes!! Uh, no. Sigh. My chosen profession really has been overtaken by its very worst elements and now that is all everyone sees. It makes me so sad.
I'm sighing right there with you.